Meet Alexander

Alexander is the very first Cronic I ever owned…. I would sell him in a heart beat for a broken thimble and a stick of 5 gum if he were part of any other NFT collection. I’ll try to explain.

Have you ever been stuck sitting next to some guy on the bus named Alp from New Hampshire who won’t stop talking about hallucinogens, his PhD in quantum mechanics and how you shouldn’t work a 9–5 for the man?

This is the best way to describe Alexander. At first I thought he was just slow, not stupid mind you but more like the protagonist in a resident evil game or Liam Neeson in every movie he’s ever been in. So I set him up on my computer with frogger thinking that would be a good way to keep him distracted indefinitely while I binged watched Robin Williams movies with my Uncle Troy.

But turns out he’s a genius (way worse)

About half way through Good Morning Vietnam I go to make sure he hasn’t hurt his tiny pea brain thinking to hard about his next frogger move. Low and behold he’s upgraded my ram and graphics card, hacked into the Pentagon and Kremlin, took control of all nuclear war heads and was amid negotiations with the UN on a plan to stabilize the world economy. He did allllllll of this and decided to forgo using even the most basic VPN. I was got water boarded in Guantanamo Bay for 8 weeks following this little stunt. (If you don’t know what water boarding or Guantanamo bay is I’m sure this sounds fun but I assure you it’s not).

I don’t even care that he was successful in his negotiations for global stability… little fella went right back to eating paste and rambling on about how all birds are government drones the minute his zoom call with the world leaders ended.

Anyway he’s my first Cronic and I’ll never sell him no matter how much I want to so badly.

Until next time


Easy Steve
Easy Steve

ICPMN Ambassador, Co-Founder of Motoko School and part of the Cronics Team. Documenting the Cronic Chronicles, 100% true stories about the antics of my Cronic Critters!

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