So you decided to read another one of these? Why?… well if that’s the case might as well close the book on any dreams of joining Mensa or better yet just cut up that Diploma on the wall above you because the Cronic Chronicles are a mental gymnasium rivaled by none.
I actually rather like Billy, he’s easy to get along with and doesn’t complain when I order Dim sum for 9 meals in a row on his maxed out credit card. I’ve also never seen him try and stick his limbs in my ceiling fan — which is not something I can say for my other cronics.
Needless to say that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of horrible atrocities because of this little fella but at-least he isn't dumb annoying or gross. The most recent catastrophe resulting from Billy “helping my cousin with her social studies paper”. My 13 year old cousin had to write a paper on JFK, she asked me for help but I told her it sounded super duper boring and she should ask Billy because he’s always going on about 60’s America and they get along pretty well already— in hindsight this was a mistake.
Later that day after I had finished eating a brand new bag of sidewalk chalk I got curious about JFK myself. I gave it a quick google and was scrolling through some old photos when I spot those two little rascals sitting on the grassy knoll eating 711 taquitos and taking pictures with an iPhone of JFK losing his thinking cap.
I swear it’s like 1 step too far every single time, I should have known “help with homework” would translate to “time travel for primary sources and eat 711 cheese rollups for dinner”. Anyway, now I’m bugging out harder than Cameron Frye when Ferris takes his dads Ferrari and don’t know what to do.
Im thinking, “maybe they uncovered the truth? Maybe they got some great color photos of JFK” -NOPE. Selfies on the grassy knoll, thats all they came back with. If that wasn’t fantastic enough… they could not understand why this was not an OK adventure… I kid you not I had to make an actual Lucid Chart to explain how they almost collapsed time and space in upon itself creating a never ending world of constant destruction or worse an earth where Waterworld is the only movie left.
She got a C+on the paper (shockingly high IMO)and I made Billy go back in time and kill their original selves before they got in the photos I found — luckily I have not been contacted by any organization claiming to police time so I think we’ll be alright. At least until the next bright idea.
Until next time
ICPMN Ambassador, Co-Founder of Motoko School and part of the Cronics Team. Documenting the Cronic Chronicles, 100% true stories about the antics of my Cronic Critters!
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